How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
