...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
