I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we made out on top of his cat.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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