Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Text me some of your sweat
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
