Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
