oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
you never un-have a 4some
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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