I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
