Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Welp...herpes.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
