The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
