no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
