Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
