1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
