and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
