at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
