I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
