It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
