It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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