I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
