He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
