he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
