It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
