Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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