im drinking this country out of the recession.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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