Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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