You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
