I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
