I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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