too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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