Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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