I CAN MOONWALK!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
