U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
