My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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