brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
