Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize