hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
