my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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