I hate all girls vehemently.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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