what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
