I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize