I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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