Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
