i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
