hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
