I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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