So drunk its hurt
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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