I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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