My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
