I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
