so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize