why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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