I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
