This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
