D3 body, D1 cock
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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