and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
