My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
