Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
