Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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