Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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