Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
