haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
