You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So drunk its hurt
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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