that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
