She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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