i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
