we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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